I feel strangely empty.

For what reason, i have no idea. But i feel as if something bad is going to happen. Leaving school early for the chem competition which i have absolutely lost interest in tomorrow. ||: Maybe we'll get last or something. hoshit. ~

Work attachment is next week. |||: I'm beginning to regret my choice, doing admin work at some company. D8 Shouldha'v chosen the Librarian thing at TP library. Hours after hours, being surrounded by books. BD oh, the joy that would have ran through me each time I picked up a book, yellowed pages or not. Everyone finds it boring though, idgi. D: 

Listening to SS501'S Obsess. Its the type of song whereby you need a few listens to get used to it, maybe cos' i don't usually listen to ballads. But w/e, the grammatical error in this song is killlllllling me. DDD: obsessED. HSDKJS. Well, i'm not sure if its a grammatical error exactly, since the song's entire lyrics is probably in present tense, but it still sounds off and i can't stand it. D|

I'm trying to decide if i should do a good deed. |: Karma, i know it exists, and i dont want it to come and bite me in the ass. lame reason to do a good thing, ino, ino. )'8

Results were, welll. Like a fat kid getting starved at fat camp. |:

It's clear that I didn't meet the standards I had been aiming for, but at this point in time, I'd feel like a douchebag if i started to complain how bad i've done, when considering that many of my classmates now are struggling to even pass this year through and not get retained.

I honestly hope that no one gets separated in our class. As much as i'm surprised, this is the first time i've actually felt so much patriotism for my own class. It's like A.dodo & her Sec 2 class.

I haven't told my mom or dad about my results just yet. |: I have a feeling that they won't really care too much for it, but somehow, they will. It's such a fishing contradiction. Like, it seems like no matter how well i do (or used to anyway), I feel it never seems to be enough for them. Yet, they don't seem to voice it out, only telling me to do my best and not giving me pressure. Sadly, it has the opposite effect, and i feel as though I have to do extremely well to not get labelled as a failure, nngh.

I have the urge to drown my sorrows in fats. D| Chocolate vanilla mix with marshmallow sprinkles ice cream plz, orz.

my brother is a mother-fathering douchebag to my mother & all elderly. Plz to sit the fuck down, stop being such a know-it-all rudeass and get some proper balls, you cockroach fearing bastard. D:<

VAH. i can't stand it when he treats people with no respect. 

Results day was disappointing. |8 

EDIT: JASKGFDKGSFLHDSLKDS. HE IS PISSING ME OFF WITH HIS BEYOND STUPID COMMENTS. My mom was saying how we were lucky to have not been born during WW2 and he goes in this obnoxious way, how at least there's ~excitement!~ and how Singapore is nothing but a boring country, people just work work work & die, yada yada..

God, you little fucker, people suffer during wartimes & yet you speak so casually about it. Go to Iraq and/or Afganistan and lets see you get your balls shot down by a rifle, you fucktard. I hope that's enough excitement for you, because no female would ever want to go near that hellhole of yours. hmph. 

LORD. someone knock some sense into that empty-headed mind of his. >:| he's such a typical male embodiment of a perfect pig-headed creature. 

I FEEL RELIEVED. :B

Just like having taken a piss, only i've caught up on fandom. BD

dude i missed so much gazette updates, its heart wrenching. D'8 god, i love their comments recently, they seem to be more uplifting and 8DDDD instead of :||||| i hope it lasts long before they go back to their srs bzn faces again.  And i'm convinced that Aoi & Reita has some sort of secret tryst between them. they keep loling, even in music japan. >:D i see what they did thar~

And ruki smirking & attempting to hold his LOL in when kai was amusing. |D it would be less obvious if he didnt have red gloves, orz.  Before I Decay is also starting to grow on me.  At first its like, "meh", seemed too much fast and repetitive guitar riffs and repeated chorus for my liking. But i like the english lyrics to this song, even if i need subs for it. >.> It makes me think of what subject Ruki is actually pointing to this time, in relation to what happening in rl. and less clouded and ~mystified~ then what he usually writes. Easy & somewhat straight to the point to understand. Like Circle Of Swindler, imo, where i really think he's talking about companies liek JE & SM. 8'D

i should probably start stuuuuuuuuuudying right about now. 

uh.

AHHHHHH SADKJFHLDKSFKJDKLDS, a tremor of anticipation is racking through my entire being right now, a heavy mix of sad and joyful emotions clashing within my mind. Its nearly here, one more day. ~*FREEDOM*~, it's lurking about, beckoning me, shimmering iridescently with the promise of happiness. Every fibre of my being is being drawn to it, like an invisible magnetic forcefield.

ONE MORE DAY. 

and exams are overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. BD

((i beg your pardon for the ...weirdly described sense of joy i feel now.  D| ))

oh, so close, but yet so far. DDDD: and im being complacent here, since its the last exam and i've somewhat finished studying bio anyway. 8d 

i've finally turned on my baby. No points for guessing what. *insert tiko peh emoticon here* oh, how i've missed it so! Fandom fandom, come back to me~

I've been goaded to blog by daphne btw. she reads shakesphere (attempted to anyway) and despite her apparent contempt for it, i bet she re-enacts them in her room wearing a pink tutu or something. idk, random imagery came to mind. O:

Anyway, retarded emotions aside, this has got to be one of the most depressing exams i have ever taken in my godforsaken life. D<>

oh, i've got so many things i want to do after exams. Smell the fresh air, frolick around in the garden, be nice to my brother, pat little bald kids heads..

or, just steal my piddly guitar back from jaclyn and attempt to play it without sounding like claws on a chalkboard. 

..should i check on fandom now.

what if i get stuck on it the entire day.

not good.

DDDDDDDDDDD::::

ITS EIGHT FRICKIN' DAYS TO EOYS, I GET IT. DD<

geez, people are publicizing that fact everywhere. what's with the sudden self-torture huh? 

and more importantly, what's with the torturing of me!? DDDDDD: I haven't started on pretty much all the subjects. 8d unless you count like, one chapter of s.s. and sparse, random bits on geog. 

...

ok nvm. 

DAAAAH. Somebody motivate me already. D8

here is the fabulous me again, to blog. :B I bet I blog 3483278432 times faster than the rate of which a person actually visits, but w/e, w/e.
hurr, finished memorising the entire healthcare chapter, with the approximate of 30 gazette songs that pulled me through. 8'D I think Gazette is currently my ~energy booster~, its catchy enough to keep me awake but ruki's frequent grammatically wrong english & occasional fast osm japanese rapping makes it hard for me to sing along, thereby allowing me to concentrate. 8d
Though, whether i can regurgitate whatever i have studied tomorrow morning is a whole 'nother question. -_-

It has come to my attention that my classmates must laugh alot. Almost every sms/msn conversation i have with them is punctuated with a Haha! or a LOLS. Hmm.

Vah. So much for studying, i've been listening to 7356475songs the entire day & doing the natural process of procrastination once again. D: how unfortunate that i find memorising lyrics in a completely foreign language easier than textbook info in actual english. =_=

sahdkshjkfdklsfds. Procrastination begone!

(oh well. i'll study tomorrow then. it's already 4pm, too late to start on anything!)